


Holiday Helper

by chasingkerouac



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Friendship, Gen, Holidays, Humor, Mall Santa Claus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 22:18:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17088770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingkerouac/pseuds/chasingkerouac
Summary: Rhodey is no fool, but every time Tony claims it's an 'emergency' and 'needs help immediately' he believes him.  Like a fool.  Helping Peter with his holiday job definitely doesn't qualify as an emergency, but at least no one will see him dressed like this... right?





	Holiday Helper

Rhodey wasn’t sure how exactly he got into this mess. 

Tony called him, claiming an ‘emergency’.  

And he knew,  _ he knew _ that tone of voice.  Tony was using was his ‘I have a function I’m going to skip because I don’t want to be bothered to give a speech’ tone and not his ‘I’ve been captured by sky aliens and am actually going to die’ tone -- because that’s a thing that happens as a regular part of his life now.  But he knew the tone of Tony’s request and he still, like a fool, said yes.

“I really appreciate your help with this, Colonel Rhodes.”

Like a fool.

Rhodey tried not to scowl at Peter.  It wasn’t the kid’s fault. It was Tony’s.  “You told Tony this was an emergency?”

Peter shoot his head.  “No. I mean, I said Mr. Johnson got sick, but he might’ve been hungover, but I never used the words emergency.  I know better than that, because the last time I accidentally said emergency there were five suits that showed up outside of my Calculus class, but that was all Mr. Stark’s fault because I didn’t actually say it to him but he listens in when I talk to KAREN and…”  

The kid could stop a tanker trunk with his bare hands, but couldn’t stop his mouth.

“...but that if we didn’t have someone here, they’d have to shut down the workshop, and I kinda need the money because ever since the cell phone repair three blocks away closed, I can’t find--”

“I’ll do it!” Rhodey resisted reaching out and physically closing Peter’s mouth.  He was going to end up helping anyway, he might as well just cut Peter off now before he got the full  _ full _ version instead of whatever this was.  “Just… give me the hat.”

“And don’t forget your beard!”

Rhodey took a deep breath as he slipped the beard on, then the red velvet hat.  

“You look amazing, Colonel Rhodes.”

“Rhodey.”

“You look amazing, Colonel Rhodey.”

At least no one other than Peter would see him dressed as a department store Santa.

***

“Hi, I’m Jingles, your holiday elf helper,” Peter said brightly as he positioned the camera and directed the next child to Rhodey’s lap.  

It wasn’t all that bad.  The kids out today seemed surprisingly well-behaved, none of the parents caused any problems, and Peter was a surprisingly good Christmas elf.  Really good with kids and adults, and seemed to have a knack for taking the picture at just the right time. He could see what drew Tony to the kid in the first place.  The kid was a genius, but an emotionally stable one. And Tony… well, Tony had many good qualities.

“Remember to be a good little boy, and Santa will see you on Christmas Eve,” he remembered to tell the child in his lap before Peter/Jingles took the picture and directed the kid to his waiting mother and the screen to pay for pictures.

“Who’s next?  Ho ho… no…” 

“Hey Santa,” Sam Wilson beamed, giving Peter a squeeze on the shoulder as he stepped forward from his place in line.  “I can’t wait to tell you how good I’ve been this year.”

“I’m so sorry,” Rhodey said in his best Santa voice, as Peter tried to look anywhere other than at the two of them.  “Santa’s lap is for good  _ little _ girls and boys.  You’re out of the age range.”

Sam gasped and placed a hand on his chest.  “Santa, are you… are you saying that I can’t sit on your lap?”

“I’m saying,” he said, his voice dropping lower and out of the holly jolly persona, “that you can’t sit on my lap, Wilson.  How did you know about this?”

“Peter texts with Natasha.  A  _ lot _ ,” Sam murmured.  “Spider bros or something.  And she told Steve, who was looking for something fun for his annual Christmas card, and how could I refuse the chance to meet the real life Santa Claus?”

“There is no way you’re sitting on my lap.”

“I can’t believe that you won’t let me sit on your lap,” Sam said, turning his head to direct his ire mostly to the folks in line.  “I mean, I’m a  _ veteran _ .  Of the United States Air Force.  Are you saying that Santa does support those of us in the military?”

“Now wait just--”

“Hey, let the guy sit down!” one of the guys in line called out, with murmurs of agreement from the crowd.  “He’s a hero!” “God bless our military!” “How dare you turn away a veteran!”

“Hear that?  I’m a hero,” Sam agreed.  

Rhodey turned to look at Peter, who at least had the self-awareness to look uncomfortable.  Although that could be that he was trying hard not to laugh. Dammit. What are the chances that Tony knew Peter couldn’t keep his mouth - fingers, whatever - shut?

“He bought the package,” Peter said with a shrug.  

Rhodey scowled.  Luckily, his beard hid it.  He gave his knee a pat and Sam sat down.  “What would you like for Christmas, little boy?”

“Oh, man, I didn’t know you were going to ask me that.”

“What did you  _ think _ I was going to ask you?”

“How about I tell you all the things I don’t want, and we’ll figure out what I do want?”

“No.”

“Alright, everyone turn and look at the camera and say jingle bells!” Peter called out.

Rhodey was already counting all of the ways he was going to get Tony back for putting him in this position as Sam turned to cheese at the camera and Peter took the picture.  

“No one sees this picture,” Rhodey said as he all but shoved Sam off of his lap.

Sam just grinned as he stepped over to approve the picture.  “Hey Jingles, can I get like, a dozen t-shirts with this on it?”


End file.
